r/WhitePeopleTwitter 3d ago

Boyfriend 100

Post image
73k Upvotes

3k

u/televisionscreen250k 3d ago

When you don’t have your gf by your side then there’s always buffalo chicken dip

1k

u/SparseGhostC2C 3d ago

I mean unless there isn't buffalo chicken dip at the party. Then you're just alone with a bunch of strangers, and the dark thoughts...

637

u/Tallydallywoop 3d ago

It simply isn't a party without buffalo chicken dip.

101

u/Meltingteeth 3d ago

Of all the social lubricants I think that one probably burns the most.

71

u/fergusmacdooley 3d ago

Precovid I made a buffalo chicken cheese bread that I'm fairly sure cured all my friends depression for 24 hrs.

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u/Axesforeyelids 3d ago

You got a recipe? I got some depression that could use even an hour curing.

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u/fergusmacdooley 3d ago

This is probably the one I used, but you can also buy tubes of Pillsbury as long as it's not already cut into triangles. Was super easy and it travelled well!

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u/Axesforeyelids 3d ago

Oh hell yeah! This is definitely a reason to finally clean the kitchen, thank you!

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u/The_Mechanist24 3d ago

That honestly sounds amazing

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u/ogreace 3d ago

And dark thoughts.

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u/DaleGribble3 3d ago

Or without dark thoughts

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u/OnceAndAlwaysFloran 3d ago

My dark thoughts at the party: They don't know they need buffalo chicken dip.

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u/SparseGhostC2C 3d ago

"Who do I have to murder to get some fucking buffalo chicken dip?"

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u/OnceAndAlwaysFloran 3d ago

Thankfully it's super easy to make. Throw it all together in a bowl, mash it up nicely, put in a heated dish at 350F for 10-15 minutes.

  • 1 cup's worth of canned chicken, drained (get a rotisserie and shred it yourself if you want to flex)
  • 1 8oz package of cream cheese warmed up till it's nice and soft
  • 1 cup of buffalo sauce (not just any hot sauce) of your preferred brand and spice level. (Example: Frank's hot buffalo sauce)
  • 1/2 cup of ranch dressing
  • 1/2 cup to 1 cup of shredded cheese of your choice, cheddar works well.

I make a bolder version with hot buffalo sauce, liberally added cayenne pepper & spicy Tony Chachere's, and 5-7 finely chopped habanero peppers. It'll bring some heat. I also garnish with chopped green onions for extras.

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u/MrDude_1 3d ago

I AM THE ONE WHO brings the buffalo chicken dip.

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u/SasparillaTango 3d ago

Are those thoughts about the things you'd do to some buffalo chicken dip?

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u/MrBrawn 3d ago

For me its queso, My body can sense if there is queso in a 100ft radius and will autopilot me to the source.

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u/M1Mayhem 3d ago

What happens when there are two sources of queso? Which does your body autopilot to first?

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u/MrBrawn 3d ago

I will go to the strongest source and move on to the next after devouring it.

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u/alexthelady 3d ago

oh i thought you'd be like buridan's ass, the donkey in the thought experiment with two bales of hay on either side, unable to choose, and eventually starving to death

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u/MrBrawn 3d ago

I will be satiated.

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u/alexthelady 3d ago
  1. likes queso
  2. smarter than a donkey

where/ when can we meet

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u/Icarus__86 3d ago

Not OP but it seems like the answers depends how much Queso you possess at any given time

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u/alexthelady 3d ago

which just reenforces that he is, indeed, smarter than a donkey

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u/DarkReign2011 3d ago

Try a Tex-Mex restaurant for your first date

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u/StrawberryKiller 3d ago

This is such a beautiful way to explain almost all of my life and I’ve never heard it before. Starving ass over here because: choices.

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u/alexthelady 3d ago

my therapist calls it self-sabotage but i like to call it acting like an ass

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u/StrawberryKiller 3d ago

Haha nice! My new therapist holds me accountable and I find it aggressive. I need a not so good therapist as opposed to this all star.

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u/alexthelady 3d ago

right like are you trying to give me an inferiority complex for you to treat? i need an underachiever who can relate to me

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u/Eisenheart 3d ago

"strongest source" in this context meaning: most bomb.

As a fat man, can confirm that queso is in fact the 5th fundamental force of physics.

Gravity, Queso dip proxima force, Electromagnetic force, Weak nuclear force, Strong nuclear force

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u/brglrundryoursink 3d ago

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u/WikiSummarizerBot 3d ago

Buridan's_ass

Buridan's ass is an illustration of a paradox in philosophy in the conception of free will. It refers to a hypothetical situation wherein an ass that is equally hungry and thirsty is placed precisely midway between a stack of hay and a pail of water. Since the paradox assumes the ass will always go to whichever is closer, it dies of both hunger and thirst since it cannot make any rational decision between the hay and water. A common variant of the paradox substitutes two identical piles of hay for the hay and water; the ass, unable to choose between the two, dies of hunger.

[ F.A.Q | Opt Out | Opt Out Of Subreddit | GitHub ] Downvote to remove | [Donate](https://www.reddit.com/user/WikiSummarizerBot/comments/nxdzfv/help_me_run/)

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u/bighaircutforbigtuna 3d ago

I will eat Trader Joe's buffalo chicken dip with a spoon directly from the container if I am left to my own devices.

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u/RaZeByFire 3d ago

But not your fingers, like some sort of SAVAGE.

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u/Rin-Tohsaka-is-hot 3d ago

Also have Yagoo by your side...

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u/Vakz 3d ago

When my girlfriend was going away for a months all I could think of was the things I could eat.

It hurts to say, but I'm not sure I'm capable of being a responsible adult without her..

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u/Pandar0ll 3d ago

I see you are also a fan of best girl.

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u/Frenchticklers 3d ago

The crock pot is your new GF. But she likes to take it slow and steady, really let the relationship shimmer.

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u/SHORTZFILM 3d ago

I never understood how people can cheat at a party that their “other” is at.

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u/AlBundysLastTD 3d ago

Step 1. Don't give af about your other.

No more steps needed.

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u/Upstairs_Light6528 3d ago

What ha-happened was…

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u/Schreiend77 3d ago

"Jenna, you look like a fucking cow. You weight 700kg and smell like a donkey.

Your sister here weights only 650kg and smells like a beautiful ogre."

"Jimmy that's my mom"

The only way the conversation may take place in my head. My mind is a temple, made out of shit, bricks and Churchill's sweat.

This is all it produces.

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u/trekuwplan 3d ago

It is beautiful

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u/asprlhtblu 3d ago

Exactly this. People always try to analyze cheaters but it’s so simple. They just don’t care about the cheated.

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u/IndoorCatSyndrome 3d ago

Or cheat at all, regardless of the proximity to their SO

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u/Taha_Amir 3d ago

Yeah like, if you dont like them anymore, just tell them, most people will be very understanding as compared to finding out that they slept with someone else

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u/Just-Kat 3d ago

As someone who has been cheated on, they can still like their partners. They just want all the perks of a relationship and may even feel really strongly about their partner, but they also want to hook up with other people. I think people who are honest and decent can’t fathom this so they’re like “just break up with them if you don’t like them!” But it’s like, they do. Just not enough to respect them or their relationship more than their own desires.

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u/PushEmma 3d ago

Well explained. Not sure how one can read that and think you are excusing it. It's just how it is.

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u/ReadySteady_GO 3d ago

Got cheated on, actually found out because she was being oddly affectionate the following week and things felt weird. I suspected anyways. She eventually came clean

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u/Taha_Amir 3d ago

If they want to hook up with others while being in a relationship, then they should talk to their partner and have an open relationship. Cheating can never be excused, its one of the worst things you can do to your partner

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u/joshuaMachine 3d ago

Just-Kat is describing how cheaters are selfish, not excusing their behavior. The point is that since the root of the problem is selfishness, there is no simple resolution like "just tell your partner and break up". This advices would only work on people who wouldn't cheat in the first place. The selfish cheater wants the partner and wants to hook up with other people behind their back, and prioritizes what they want above what their partner deserves.

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u/TheLastElasticJedi 3d ago

they should talk to their partner and have an open relationship.

Most people don't want open relationships and the people who are interested in that are likely smart enough to know most partners would shoot that down. Plus its probably hard to find another person who wants a similar lifestyle or maybe they want to be able to sleep around but don't want their SO doing the same. So they date someone and cheat on them. That's how it works from what I've seen.

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u/Just-Kat 3d ago

I’m not excusing it. I’ve experienced it lol it fucked me up. Just saying “leave if you don’t like them!” Doesn’t work as advice because the cheater could very well think they’re in love with their partner. Vs something like “if you love this person like you say you do, you should treat them right and leave them because they deserve better than being cheated on.” But hey if you’re selfish enough to cheat, you might not give a fuck about that either

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u/sezah 3d ago

I had a college boyfriend who was so incredibly dense and determined that he did not take “I am breaking up with you” seriously. I spent about a week breaking up with him, either ignoring him or telling him that it’s over and I didn’t wanna be around him anymore.

That Saturday we were at the same house party. I basically just grab the dude next to me by the hand paraded him off into one of the rooms in front of my ex, and fucked him.

Maybe about a week after that he got upset and said that I was “cheating on him” and he “broke up with me.” FINALLY

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u/Taha_Amir 3d ago

Dude prolly didnt want to be seen as "the guy who got dumped" so he wanted an opportunity to "dump" you.

Either that or he had some problems in his head

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u/sezah 3d ago

Narrator: It was the latter.

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u/Hairy_Air 3d ago

Just like a lot more mischief in the world, the reason for it is weakness. Weakness of character, mind whatever. And the other cause is selfishness/Narcissism. In the second case, You're better off without the person. But im first case, it might hurt since those aren't exactly bad people, they're just weak. But you shouldn't be weak people either.

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u/cheeset2 3d ago

People do, in fact, be wildin

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u/catlandid 3d ago edited 2d ago

Narcissism. The thrill of getting away with it. The thrill of getting caught. Maybe they’ve already checked out of the relationship but don’t want to exert the effort to break up so they damage or neglect the relationship until the other does it for them. There’s also the possibility of self sabotage (often from some kind of trauma) where someone might screw up a relationship they don’t feel they deserve.

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u/Cpt-Zapp_Brannigan 3d ago

I don't imagine they're considering the consequences, it's all just horniness and hormones.

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u/2BadBirches 3d ago

Yeah no doubt, you’d hear stories of shit like this happening but it would always be very young adults who are very new to alcohol and sex.

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u/UnimpressionableCage 3d ago

My buffalo chicken dip brings all the boys the yard

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u/NorthenLeigonare 3d ago

And they're like, it's better than yours.

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u/ts1985 3d ago

Damn right it's better than yours

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u/theshinyspacelord 3d ago

I can teach you but I’d have to charge

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u/leafyjack 3d ago

I could teach you, but I don't wanna share

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u/p_turbo 3d ago

I can teach you, but I'd have to charge

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u/mawgsmehums 3d ago edited 3d ago

I once found mine talking to a random group of girls. My first thought was panic because my guys very intense and doesn't read a room well ie he tends to capture audiences. I get up to him and this dude is explaining ww1 start to finish because they asked about his shirt.

Edit: Oh shit my first award! Thank you!

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u/e2hawkeye 3d ago

I bet it was a Sabaton shirt. Or does Dan Carlin sell T shirts? I would wear one.

I may or may not have done this myself... "And then they had to roll through neutral Belgium and Britain was like naw fuck that shit.."

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u/mawgsmehums 3d ago

https://shop.theworldwar.org/collections/t-shirts/products/black-cat-treat-em-rough-t-shirt

It was this one. And yeah it happens....more than i would like. Between our friends it's fine because we're all nerds but the old lady at the fabric store isn't interested in the battle of isonzo.

Edit:isonzos, my bad

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u/DocDerry 3d ago

Look if that old broad isn't into hearing about the battle of isonzos then she shouldn't have gotten into competitive textile distribution.

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u/earanhart 3d ago

Which Battle of Isonzos? There's been like, checks watch twelve of them by now.

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u/Zamphyr 3d ago

I was thinking Motorhead or Saxon.

Sabaton or Saxon, that's a fun generation gap

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u/What-a-Crock 3d ago

Dan Carlin definitely sells a few shirts

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u/Mister_Haaand 3d ago

And then they had to roll through neutral Belgium and Britain was like naw fuck that shit.."

I probably would have done better in history class if teachers explained things in a way I could understand

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u/ChiWasSha 3d ago

He is doing important work, for how monumentally impactful and important WWI is, the general public (at least in the United States) is tragically ignorant about it.

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u/no-mames 3d ago

One of the things keeping me at my current job is talking with my 60 y/o coworker about WWII. Dude is so knowledgeable about it and I love finding articles that he hasn’t read about, specially about the soviets.

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u/Saiyan-solar 3d ago

Now that is a man with a mission, be careful becuae before you know it has more girl hanging around him than you want

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u/mawgsmehums 3d ago

And he will recruit everyone of them into a weekend long game of axis and allies 1936 lol

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u/Moonpile 3d ago

I was going to make a joke about how a weekend isn't long enough for that game, but I wouldn't know because I've never finished it.

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u/mawgsmehums 3d ago

We have finished it in a weekend but it was brutal. We set it up thursday night and prayed to sweet baby jesus that the dogs would leave it alone. Everyone came over at 5pm to start. We played until 1am. Several were very drunk and had to be taken home. One passed out on my couch. Woke up at 8am, made pancakes as people start rolling on. 19 fuckin 39 starts at 10am. We played until 7 or 8pm i don't remember. I was very drunk again and had a navy to build and an aquatic mammal to prevent. Sunday repeats except 1945 hits at noon. Everyones tired, we want to go home and swear were only going to play vanilla from now on. Next game is end of the month. I'm excited

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u/Edolas93 3d ago

I got lost from my gf at a party once and something similar happened, only I was explaining to the group how a huge viaduct style bridge built in the 1840's with piles going into a pretty strong flowing river was constructed and how it was secured while submerged.

I am very lucky to have my now fiancèe.

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u/Chapafifi 3d ago

Then he said "Lemme invade your Fao Fortress"

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u/Kendertas 3d ago

As a massive history nerd I take heart in knowing it isn't a complete turn off.

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u/Czulax 3d ago

Oof I know someone like that, it's pretty hard to have a conversation without being talked at lol

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u/Shiz0id01 3d ago

I want me a man with that kind of trivia

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u/JasonCox 3d ago

Speaking as a dude with Aspergers, is your BF on the spectrum too? Because that’s the kind of shit you do with this fun little brain thing.

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u/Impossible-Sir-103 3d ago

Sounds like both her boyfriends like to double dip

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u/senorkose 3d ago

Goddamn lol

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u/CoreyLee04 3d ago

Thanks noob noob

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u/I-Suck-At-Games 3d ago

This guy gets it

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u/Divine-Nemesis 3d ago

You deserve more but take this reward and upvote

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u/Impossible-Sir-103 3d ago

I thank you for your humble offering

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u/MiamiPower 3d ago

Did you just double dip that chip?

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u/kelpyturtles 3d ago

From now on, when you take a chip, just dip it once and end it!

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u/Translucent_Kit 3d ago

BROOOOOoooooooooooo⁰⁰⁰⁰⁰⁰⁰

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u/PitchforkAssistant 3d ago

I just finished eating breakfast directly out of a pot...

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u/lordph8 3d ago edited 3d ago

You drastically reduce your dish use. Not only is it lazy, it's environmental.

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u/yellowbrickstairs 3d ago

Lazy and environmental? Hell yeh

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u/wiiya 3d ago

Old fruit goes to the yard and nature makes it go away.

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u/Chrisganjaweed 3d ago

It also works with older pets.

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u/Yo_CSPANraps 3d ago

And people as well.

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u/StarsDreamsAndMore 3d ago

You just reminded me I should buy some fruit today

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u/Intelligent_Moose_48 3d ago

Get a plum tree and never go fruitless again

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u/TranscendentalEmpire 3d ago

We just planted two! I don't know why people don't plant more fruit trees, they're usually prettier than the ornamentals people pay for and you get free fruit!

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u/YoghurtSnodgrass 3d ago

Environmentally Lazy, I like the sound of that. If I don't drive to work today not only can I lay in bed and do nothing but I also reduce carbon emissions.

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u/SwenKa 3d ago

Don't order everything in your shopping cart online? You just reduced carbon emissions from having those shipped all over the world!

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u/NetworkLlama 3d ago

My high school chem teacher justified being lazy by pointing out that work releases heat, heat creates entropy, and entropy hastens the end of the universe. Therefore, being lazy lets the universe last longer.

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u/YoghurtSnodgrass 3d ago

Not only is your high school chem teacher a brilliant person but they were so dedicated to saving the universe through laziness they decided to stagnant as a high school chem teacher. I respect the hell out of that.

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u/Metalp3n 3d ago

I just finished having some pot for breakfast …

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u/lochnessthemonster 3d ago

Wake and bake then breakfast

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u/TheSilversky64 3d ago

Don't know if they meant that kind of pot

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u/lochnessthemonster 3d ago

When in doubt, smoke 2 joints for breakfast

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u/Metalp3n 3d ago

I start off every day in doubt…

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u/lochnessthemonster 3d ago

You need 2 joints after you smoke 2 joints, my friend!

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u/Metalp3n 3d ago

Also I love that we’ve all found each other randomly in this comment thread.

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u/lochnessthemonster 3d ago

Stoners unite! I'm a loner stoner but can usually spot one.

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u/Metalp3n 3d ago

Haha same. Now I just come home, go by the window, put the exhaust fan in so the wife doesn’t bitch, and puff away. It’s a nice change from driving around in a car with a bunch of dudes smoking weed and risking getting arrested because marijuana is so much worse than actual crime.

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u/cwojputt 3d ago

And then you smoke 2 more?

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u/Metalp3n 3d ago

This is the way.

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u/CatConrad420 3d ago

Lol thanks for making me feel better about my pot breakfast.

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u/NinjaRage83 3d ago

I'm presently finishing my bowl. Best breakfast ever. Sets me up for second breakfast.

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u/ProfessionalCattle91 3d ago

I don't think they know about second breakfast, Nin ... or elevenses ... or luncheon.

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u/fuckitweredoingitliv 3d ago

Last night I ordered a pizza by myself and ate it over the sink like a rat

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u/Mortress_ 3d ago

I real rat would eat it under the sink

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u/LoveIsFreeee 3d ago

Really?! Wow! I just finished pot and I’m about to breakfast.

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u/NaRa0 3d ago

Only way it could be better is if she lost him and found him there texting her “hey babe! I found Buffalo chicken dip!!”

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u/zephood75 3d ago

Ohh what's buffalo chicken dip? I think I may need this in my life

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u/bash0110 3d ago

Buy a bottle of Frank's. The recipe is right on the bottle. It's delicious!

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u/Moist-Rutabaga5 3d ago

Slightly off topic, but I recently found out that Frank's makes a powdered version of the sauce and it's fucking amazing.

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u/holybrohunter 3d ago

A coworker brought me some! It’s so good on fries and burgers. It blew my mind there was a seasoning version of the sauce

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u/DocDerry 3d ago

WHAT?!!?!?!?!

Edit: I just ordered both versions of their powdered sauces off Amazon.

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u/SwissyVictory 3d ago

Pro Tip: if a recipe is on the box it's legit

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u/mahomesthelegend 3d ago

18 years of my mother's cooking says otherwise

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u/SwissyVictory 3d ago

Lol you still gotta cook it properly. I keep finding out my mom's best recipes are from box.

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u/fholland23 3d ago

I put that shit on everything!

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u/Muted_Violinist5151 3d ago edited 3d ago

https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/buffalo-chicken-dip/

This is my favorite recipe for it! Super easy to make and your life will never be the same LOL. Add a dollop of sour cream when you eat it and it's a party in your mouth

Edit: I cannot believe my first ever Reddit award is about buffalo chicken dip lmao. Thanks, stranger!!

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u/AceBalistic 3d ago

edit

How about your 2nd award?

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u/Muted_Violinist5151 3d ago

Omg thank you 🥺

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u/luigi145145 3d ago

How about your 13th award?! 🤘

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u/AceBalistic 3d ago

18 total so far, and you responded to the wrong person lol

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u/youlleatitandlikeit 3d ago

If you're vegetarian follow the recipe above but substitute sautéed shredded oyster mushrooms for the chicken.

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u/creynolds722 3d ago

Our twist puts basically this mixture inside of crescent rolls from a can, two of them smashed together and wrapped around the mix, to make buffalo chicken crescent pockets. They're amazing!

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u/cedarfigx 3d ago

Just whatever you do, do not substitute ranch for blue cheese. It can only be blue cheese.

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u/doindaderp 3d ago

Every recipe I have seen has both ranch and blue cheese. Which recipes only use one?

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u/Rakathu 3d ago

This is the way.

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u/chief_wiggum666 3d ago

Its blue cheese with wings or go fuck your mother

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u/7we4k 3d ago

Can't eat Bleu Cheese due to an allergy, add on being a Wisconsinite... Ranch it is.

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u/binkenheimer 3d ago

Cant do blue cheese, makes me ill.

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u/ztran 3d ago

You could always find the dog too. If my fiancé loses me at a party, 9/10 I’m petting the dog. That 1/10 is me eating food directly from the source.

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u/scoliosisbruv 3d ago edited 3d ago

Cherish that boy.

Edit: very greatful for the award. Thank you.

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u/TimmyV90 3d ago

EX: Babe, it's not what it looks like...

BF: Babe, it's exactly what it looks like *nomn nomn*

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u/Alarid 3d ago

Unless they were caught in a lie. Crying, saying it's not what it looks like dip all over their hands and shirt.

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u/TimmyV90 3d ago

GF: Babe, you've been Buffalo Dip Sober for 3 years now?! Where did it all fall apart? Is it me? Was it something I did?

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u/noisesinmyhead 3d ago

My husband would likely try this, only because he’s lactose intolerant and a good Buffalo dip will torture both of us later. But we’re married, so both of us would immediate know it was a lie. LOL

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u/somedudetoyou 3d ago

Funny thing is current boyfriend was probably more ashamed being caught than ex-boyfriend.

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u/willydajackass 3d ago

Yeap classic introvert at a party scoring the good stuff!!!

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u/Keyarchan 3d ago

My friend and I went to a party that ended up being quite boring so we spent the night eating their rhubarb pie and biscuits with brie cheese.

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u/preposte 3d ago

"Would you all please keep it down? I'm trying to read!"

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u/errorsniper 3d ago

I miss the days of being able to just sit at the food table and eat for 4 hours straight and still only weigh 190lbs lol.

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u/DariBro 3d ago

"I'm just gonna pretend I don't exist"

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u/gurmzisoff 3d ago

I go to parties for the food and the pets.

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u/Principal_B-Lewis 3d ago

Today I learned I’m boyfriend upgrade material. Hmmm.

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u/Darkflame3324 3d ago

If I was ever lost at a party, it’s because I’m petting the dog

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u/WilkeyWonka 3d ago

Git you a man who can do both. And by do both I mean make the buffalo chicken dip and then eat it straight out of the crock pot. 💪

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u/Dasheno 3d ago

And then make out with you in the next room! ;)

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u/PMARC14 3d ago

They won't stop eating the Buffalo chicken dip. You are being cheated on emotionally with a crocpot full of Buffalo chicken dip.

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u/Draidann 3d ago

With all the things I could get cheated on with chicken wings is not even in the worst top ten

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u/TheRaven9 3d ago

I got caught last night drinking wine straight out of the bag that normally comes within the boxes of wine.

Sometimes you’ve just got to be the opposite of classy.

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u/Waldorama 3d ago

Did you slap the bag? I think that’s the protocol.

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u/_AnecdotalEvidence_ 3d ago

Yea that’s pretty standard operating procedure once it has left the box

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u/YDAQ 3d ago

Sometimes you’ve just got to be the opposite of classy.

Last night I put some spiced peanuts in a tiny snack bowl and discovered they were so spicy that my tongue was going to melt. So my wife walked into the kitchen to find her husband lapping milk from a tiny bowl...

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u/ConflictWonk 3d ago

Someone truly classy would hang the bag (goon sack) from the clothes line, spin it and play goon-a-fortune!

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u/Bi-tch-sexual 3d ago

I had an ex that, when I was in shape, almost everytime would find something awful to say about my figure. Now I'm married to someone whom, even though I've gained weight, finds me to be perfect anyway. Upgrades!

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u/enby_shout 3d ago edited 2d ago

imagine the genuine worry about losing her boyfriend again thinking the new one is gonna be fucking a chick just like the last one did and how stupid you were to trust any man ever again aaaaaaand. nope. baby just is knuckle deep in the dip

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u/meeseek_and_destroy 3d ago

My ex got cheated on in a similar manner and it resulted in us going to a party and him absolutely losing his shit on me for disappearing.

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u/enby_shout 3d ago edited 3d ago

did he apologize later

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u/meeseek_and_destroy 3d ago

That’s a good question that I actually don’t have an answer for but our relationship took a nose dive from there and that wasn’t to only time he freaked out on me irrationally. He was unwell.

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u/NikkolaiV 3d ago

“Wanna hook up?”

“Boutta hook my mouth up with more chicken dip! Outta the way, I need more chips!”

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u/anarchyarcanine 3d ago

My husband, if we partied, would be off stealing the love of the host's cat for sure

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u/Redone89 3d ago

I disappeared at a party, my girlfriend came home and thought the worst, said i was acting ‘shady’. Walked in and i was stood eating salami straight out the fridge 😂

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u/ussrname12 3d ago

Upgrades people UPGRADES👏

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u/Chloe_SSB 3d ago

I had an ex bf who constantly wanted to accuse me of cheating, and it's like bro I am literally just sitting here eating shredded cheese out of the bag. Chill.

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u/Mokick0813 3d ago

I Would like to know what you do when you get lost at a party ?

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u/Magnon 3d ago

Have an existential crisis about why I'm there when I could be at home painting my nails and watching taskmaster instead.

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u/AceBalistic 3d ago

Call the other person or leave through the exit, or just do a room by room search

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u/Dooty_Shirker 3d ago

I did the room by room thing once. Found out I was perfectly evading the other party. Eventually someone else had to grab me and tell me to hold still and let them make another round.

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u/victoriaa- 3d ago

Find the cat or dog of the house

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u/BlurredCoding 3d ago

Hot damn I’m making some Buffalo chicken dip, it has been written.

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u/ChemgoddessOne 3d ago

I was fully expecting him to be with the dog.

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u/tappity_yap_yap 3d ago

what kind of monster would do that to another man's dip?

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u/filtoid 3d ago

To which of the young men in the story are you referring?

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u/darlingcthulhu 3d ago

Actually can relate to the first one too much. Now when my boyfriend goes on a night out I start having a panic attacks, it’s a fun time (and yeah. I’m aware this is a me problem and I need to sort it out. Am doing so)

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u/BenWallace04 3d ago

“You don’t double dip the chip....it’s like you’re putting your whole mouth in the dip!”

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u/aloha_XD 3d ago

Girlfriends are temporary. Buffalo chicken dip is forever.